I hop onto my computer and pull up messenger and message my boyfriend. I throw everything back into the box as if *I’M* the one who has just committed some horrible sin against nature. “Dog collar with attached nipple clamps.”ĭogs don’t need nipple clamps, so what the shit. What’s with the metal things? This is kind of weird, I think, so let’s pull out the invoice: I pull out some packing materials, then an item wrapped in plastic wrap. I open it as part of the standard office procedure. So I’m doing my mail duties when an odd looking package arrives for my boss, the CEO of the company. It was a pretty boring job for the most part, but every now and then there would be a wave of excitement when my boss’s crazy ex-wife would come in and scream at him in front of all of his employees. I worked as an office manager once, and it was my job to open and sort all of the mail, including packages.